


And They Were Roommates

by RavenpuffWrites



Series: I'm Only Human [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Bi!Roman, College AU, Demi!Virgil, Eventual LAMP - Freeform, Fluff, Gen, Genderfluid!Patton, Genderqueer!Remy (mentioned), Logan has secret meme knowledge, M/M, Remy and Virgil are twins which I also didn't predict but is now fact, Remy's older, Roman is southern in a turn of events i did not predict, Trans!Roman, ace!Patton, chat fic, he uses it to avoid conversations he does not want to have, i mean ro is dealing with a lot so of course he's gonna have angst, i really don't have a reason for writing this other than I wanted to, later on probably, mentioned transphobia, roommates au, there's not really a plot it's just the boys being idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 18:03:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16000493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenpuffWrites/pseuds/RavenpuffWrites
Summary: A collection of chats between the boys taking place before and after the events of I'm Only Human. You don't really need to read that fic to understand what's going on though (but you should).Mostly it's just four idiots starting college and falling in love and being general disasters.Princey: Do you not take care of yourself???Viva-La-Pluto: No.Viva-La-Pluto has changed their name to Self-Care-WhoEmo-Nightmare: oh my godSelf-Care-Who: Never heard of her.





	1. Apartment 403

**Roman_Prince has joined the chat**

**Roman_Prince has renamed the chat Apartment 403**

**Roman_Prince has added Patton_Heart Logan_Sanders and Virgil_Storm to the chat**

**Virgil_Storm:** whomst the fuck just added me to a random ass chat

**Roman_Prince:** Greetings future roommates! 

**Patton_Heart:** Roommates?! 

**Virgil_Storm:** follow up question, what the fuck are you talking about

**Roman_Prince:** Uhm, college?? Duh

**Logan_Sanders:** I was unaware they had sent out room assignments already. I was under the impression that we would not find out until much later in the summer

**Virgil_Storm:** yeah and i definitely havent got an email or letter or anything about roommates yet

**Roman_Prince:** That’s because they haven’t, technically, been sent out yet. 

**Roman_Prince:** But when I moved into our apartment yesterday I was able to get the information a little early. 

**Roman_Prince:** I thought it would be fun to have some extra time to get to know each other before we move in together. 

**Patton_Heart:** Oh that sounds like a great idea!! I’ll go first!

**Patton_Heart:** My name is Patton, you can also call me Pat if you want. I haven’t decided my major yet but I think I might want to do psychology or maybe education, depends on where the wind takes me I guess! Ooh, I love animals and I volunteer at my local shelter so I might also do something with that, like maybe a vet or something? I really don’t know, there’s so many fun options out there! I also bake a lot, I guess you could say I have a bit of a Sweet tooth! 

**Patton_Heart:** Oh, I’m also a Hufflepuff and I love helping others, although I’m not that great actually at finding things, I tend to lose stuff pretty easily, but I mean it always comes back in the end. 

**Patton_Heart:** And I give out the best hugs in the world. My friends and little brother Dee like them so much I’ve thought about having them... Pattoned. 

**Logan_Sanders:** ... Did you... Just make a pun? 

**Patton_Heart:** Yeah, I did. They’re like my third favorite thing in the world behind my brother and my friends. 

**Patton_Heart:** Also cats 

**Logan_Sanders:** I... 

**Patton_Heart:** I really like cats. 

**Virgil_Storm:** same 

**Logan_Sanders:** Right. 

**Logan_Sanders:** Moving on from the uh, cat discussion. My name is Logan. I am an Astronomy and Astrophysics major as well as I plan to minor in Dance as it is something I have been doing since I was a young child. I myself have a bit of a sweet tooth although I do not tend to indulge it very often, I do bake some though as it is rather a bit like chemistry. Perhaps if you would like Patton this is something we could attempt to perform together at some time. 

**Patton_Heart:** Yes!!! 

**Logan_Sanders:** As Patton has stated his Hogwarts House, I shall mention I am a Ravenclaw, although I have been told by my cousin and his friends several times over that I am closer to a Slytherin at times. 

**Logan_Sanders:** I also feel it is important to note that I am a firm defender of Pluto’s status as a planet.

**Roman_Sanders:** Uhm... 

**Logan_Sanders has changed their name to Viva-La-Pluto**

**Virgil_Storm:** oh my god

**Viva-La-Pluto:** As a said, a firm believer in Pluto’s rights.

**Patton_Heart:** Wait, we can change our names?? 

**Patton_Heart has changed their name to Purrfectly_Patton**

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Ah!! This is so exciting!!

**Roman_Prince:** Indeed it is! 

**Roman_Prince:** Shall we continue with introductions? I’m Roman, an undecided major, I haven’t figured out exactly what I want to do yet. I’m a major lover of all things Disney and Theater, I own nearly every Disney movie on dvd so I hope you’re ready for many glorious movie nights. And naturally I’m a Gryffindor. 

**Virgil_Storm:** of course you like disney movies 

**Roman_Prince:** What’s that supposed to mean? 

**Virgil_Storm:** nothing at all  _ princey  _

**Roman_Prince:** Are you attacking my name, Mr. My-Last-Name-Is-Literally-Storm? 

**Virgil_Storm:** got a problem with it, princey

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Now kiddos, don’t start fighting. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Virgil, you haven’t introduced yourself, do you wanna do that now?  

**Virgil_Storm:** ugh fine 

**Virgil_Storm:** im virgil or virge i guess. uh im a psych and music double major, i want to do something with music therapy. i can play a few instruments pretty okay, and uh im pretty into music and bands in general. especial emo bands

**Virgil_Storm:** and i dont do hogwarts houses i don’t agree with being forced to conform with one 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Ooh, what’s your favorite band? 

**Virgil_Storm:** My Chemical Romance

**Virgil_Storm:** obviously 

**Roman_Prince:** You are an emo nightmare 

**Virgil_Storm:** thanks

**Roman_Prince has changed Virgil_Storm’s name to Emo-Nightmare**

**Emo-Nightmare:** ...

**Emo_Nightmare has changed Roman_Prince’s name to Princey**

**Emo-Nightmare:** better 

**Princey:** I...

**Purrfectly_Patton:** aww, we all have new nicknames now

**Viva-La-Pluto:** It seems that is the case, yes

**Purrfectly_Patton:** We’re like a family now! 

**Princey has renamed the chat The 403 Family**

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Yes!! 

**Emo-Nightmare has renamed the chat 403 fam**

**Princey:** You ruined my rhyme! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i made it better 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Now don’t you go shortening the word family by cutting out my three favorite letters

**Purrfectly_Patton:** ILY

**Purrfectly_Patton has renamed the chat 403 famILY**

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Are you done changing the name now? 

**Emo-Nightmare has renamed the chat fuck you logan**

**Emo-Nightmare:** now i am 

**Princey:** Nice 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Now kiddos that’s not very nice 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** This is ridiculous. I refuse to engage in this childish behavior 

**Viva-La-Pluto has left the chat.**

**Princey:** Did he just leave? 

**Princey:** How rude!

**Emo-Nightmare:** and we’re the childish ones 

* * *

**Viva-La-Pluto has joined the chat**

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I have a question for you @Princey 

**Emo-Nightmare:** its been three days and you just thought of a question 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Yes

**Princey:** What do you need nerd 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I’ll ignore your name calling for now 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I am simply curious as to why you have moved into the dorms so early. School doesn’t start for more than two months. It seems odd that you’re already there

**Emo-Nightmare:** nerd has a point 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I was curious about that too but I didn’t want to push because it seemed kind of personal

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Oh, is it? 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I am terribly sorry if I have overstepped a boundary, Roman. I am not always the best at reading social situations. You should not feel pressured to answer if you’re not comfortable.

**Princey:** It’s okay, Logan. I guess you would have figured it out sooner or later. No use trying to hide it.

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Kiddo? 

**Princey:** Yes Pat? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** You don’t have to tell us if you’re not comfortable. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** It’s okay if you need more time 

**Princey:** In this case, I think it’s more like a band-aid 

**Emo-Nightmare:** then rip it off idiot 

**Emo-Nightmare:** stop making it worse by anticipating the pain and just do it 

**Princey:** right 

**Princey:** .... 

**Emo-Nightmare:** Roman! 

**Princey:** Imtrans

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Oh

**Princey:** My parents weren’t supportive and so I left as soon as I could and I got permission to move in early and paid the money so that I could get away from that. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** oh

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Roman!! :( :( :( :(

**Princey:** it’s fine Patton 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Falsehood. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** It is not fine at all!!!

**Emo-Nightmare:** your parents are dicks dude 

**Princey:** I-

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Roman? 

**Princey:** ...Do you... truly not care that I’m trans? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Of course not! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** kind of be hypocritical considering im demisexual

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Ooh, I’m genderfluid and also asexual 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I myself am gay 

**Princey:** o h 

**Princey:** I’m also Bi 

**Emo_Nightmare:** wow I never expected to be in a queer apartment 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Well statistically we  _ do  _ tend to travel in packs 

**Purrfectly_Patton has renamed the chat 403 Queer famILY**

**Princey:** That’s not a statistic 

**Princey:** (nice name Pat) 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** It is. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** (thank you!!)

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Do you have proof that it isn’t? 

**Princey:** Well, no

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Than you cannot say it isn’t true. 

**Emo-Nightmare:** he has a point 

**Princey** : Rude

* * *

**Emo-Nightmare:** wait patton

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Yeah kiddo? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** what pronouns should we use for you

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Oh, well mostly I don’t mind any pronouns 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** And if I do have a preference one day I’ll let you know

**Emo-Nightmare:** cool 

**Emo-Nightmare:** just dont let us misgender you okay 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I’ll let you know Virgil, I promise 

**Emo-Nightmare:** good

* * *

**Purrfectly_Patton:** We should talk more.

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Patton? 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** You do realize it is close to 3 in the morning, correct? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** actually its almost 4am here 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Patton! It is not healthy to be staying up this late. Your body needs adequate rest in order to function properly 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I know buuut 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I was thinking about how it took us so long to come out to each other 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I would hardly call three days a long time. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** And it got me thinking about how many other things we haven’t talked about yet. Like what is everyone’s favorite color, favorite food, favorite animal? Is anyone allergic to anything that I shouldn’t use in my baking? Biggest fear? Who’s going to kill the spiders that come into the apartment?

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Perhaps we should play a game of 20 questions with Roman and Virgil. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** At a more decent time 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Yes!! 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Can you and I start right now since we’re awake? 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Patton, you need to go to bed, it is unhealthy to stay up this late. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Please Logan???? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Just one question? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I Heart-ly know you

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Don’t.

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Please?? 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Alright. One question. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** But then you must go to sleep 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** What’s your favorite tv series? 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Ah, that is an easy one. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** It is Sherlock. The BBC show.

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Really??

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Of course. Dr. Who is a close second however, but nothing can quite beat the brilliance that is Sherlock Holmes.

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Of course it isn’t quite as good as the books, but I am still a fan all the same. In fact he happens to be one of my favorite characters I have read about. We're quite similar.

**Purrfectly_Patton:** How many books have you read? 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Too many to count. Now, I believe you agreed to go to bed after asking me a question

**Purrfectly_Patton:** But you haven’t asked me a question yet. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** It’s part of the game Lo, you have to do it!

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Oh yes, of course. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** You said earlier that you worked in a shelter. Do you have a specific animal that you enjoy working with the most? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** ... You remembered that?

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Yes of course. It is an important fact about you, therefore it is something I remembered.

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Awww, Lo!! That’s so sweet. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** No, it is just common human courtesy. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I still think it’s sweet. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** But to answer your question, I usually work with the dogs at the shelter, sometimes we get bunnies in and love to play with those. Though I love all the animals there equally.

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Ah. I was expecting your answer to be cats considering your love for them. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Oh I can’t work with the cats much. I’m allergic. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** ... 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Then WHY the cat pun? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I like cats

**Viva-La-Pluto:** You are... insufferable. 

* * *

**Princey:** 20 questions sounds like an incredible idea!

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Indeed. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** You are up fairly early, Roman. I never pegged you as a morning person. 

**Princey:** Not by choice

**Princey:** I work morning shifts at a restaurant not far from the college so I have no choice but to be up.

**Emo-Nightmare:** sounds horrifying 

**Princey:** It’s torture 

**Emo-Nightmare:** sucks to be you 

**Princey:** Why are you even up at this hour, Surly Temple?

**Emo-Nightmare:** bold of you to assume i sleep

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I hope that is a joke 

**Emo-Nightmare:** mayhaps 

**Emo-Nightmare:** or maybe im a vampire 

**Princey:** You would be 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Do not be ridiculous, vampires do not exist

**Emo-Nightmare:** how do you know 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** It does not make scientific sense. Also, there is no possible way such a creature could exist without the world being aware of it. 

**Princey:** Why do you think there’s so many novels about vampires? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** theyre not fiction theyre real

**Princey:** Y e s 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** This is ridiculous, you cannot seriously believe Virgil is a vampire 

**Princey:** Well I hope that he isn’t 

**Princey:** But I can’t deny it’s possible

**Emo-Nightmare:** youll just have to wait and see 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** This is ridiculous, it is too early for this. 

**Emo-Nightmare:** why are you up anyways 

**Princey:** Yeah aren’t you like an hour behind us? 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** I am, yes.

**Princey:** And you were talking to Patton at like 3am 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** These are all facts I’m aware of Roman, what is your point? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** dude you slept for like two hours 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Actually I did not sleep at all

**Princey:** Logan! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** “Your body needs adequate rest in order to function properly” 

**Emo-Nightmare:** what happened to that 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** That is for other people.

**Viva-La-Pluto:** Obviously. 

**Viva-La-Pluto:** There are far more important things for me to do rather than sleep

**Princey:** L o g a n 

**Emo-Nightmare:** oh my god 

**Princey:** Do you not take care of yourself???

**Viva-La-Pluto:** No.

**Viva-La-Pluto has changed their name to Self-Care-Who**

**Emo-Nightmare:** oh my god 

**Self-Care-Who:** Never heard of her. 

**Princey:** O H M Y G O D

**Emo-Nightmare:** who taught you memes 

**Self-Care-Who:** Tumblr. 

**Princey:** You have Tumblr?!?!

**Self-Care-Who:** Naturally. 

**Self-Care-Who:** I have vocabulary cards to keep track of them

**Emo-Nightmare:** you fucking nerd 

**Princey:** It’s too early for this, I can’t 

**Emo-Nightmare:** agreed 

**Emo-Nightmare:** im going back to sleep 

**Princey:** Best Of Wives and Best of Women 

**Emo-Nightmare:** ...what

**Princey:** Uh, Hamilton? You know The Musical? 

**Princey:** It’s one of the songs?? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** okay...

**Princey:** Does this mean nothing to you?

**Emo-Nightmare:** nope

**Self-Care-Who:** I found it to be quite a good reference, Roman.

**Princey:** You know Hamilton???

**Self-Care-Who:** I can perform Guns And Ships perfectly 

**Princey:** I-

**Princey:** I have to go. 


	2. Don’t bully me asshole I’m southern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil tries to get Roman to talk about his feelings.   
> It goes about as well as you can expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this, I really don't know what happened. 
> 
> This takes place somewhere in the middle of the first chapter, after Roman (and subsequently the others) comes out as trans.

**Emo-Nightmare has joined the chat**

**Emo-Nightmare as added Princey to the chat**

**Emo-Nightmare has renamed the chat I Have A Question**

**Princey:**???

 **Princey:** Did you just add me to a private chat?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i have a question

 **Princey:** So you started an entire chat??

 **Emo-Nightmare:** well i didnt want to make a big deal about it

 **Emo-Nightmare:** so yeah

 **Princey:** Okay...

 **Princey:** What is your question, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** what is with you and these nicknames

 **Princey:** Was that your question?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** not originally but it is one i have now

 **Princey:** I don’t really know, I guess it’s just a thing I do

 **Princey:** I can stop if it bothers you! It’s supposed to be all in good fun but if it like actually upsets you I’ll stop

 **Emo-Nightmare:** nah its cool

 **Princey:** Are you sure?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i wouldnt say it if i wasnt princey dont worry

 **Princey:** Okay. Good.

 **Princey:** You said you had a question for me?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** right

 **Emo-Nightmare:** you dont have to say anything if it makes you uncomfortable or anything

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i get its probably not something you like to talk about a lot

 **Emo-Nightmare:** and i wouldnt bring it up except i know how hard it can be when your parents are shit

 **Princey:** Virgil,

 **Princey:** Just rip off the bandaid

 **Emo-Nightmare:** right

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i just wanted to make sure you were doing okay after everything that happened earlier

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i know you said it was fine but like you seemed sort of anxious to come out and shocked that like we actually accepted you

 **Emo-Nightmare:** and you mentioned your parents and how much fucking assholes they are

 **Emo-Nightmare:** whatever they said about you theyre wrong there is nothing wrong with you being trans and if anyone thinks different they can fight me

 **Emo-Nightmare:** youre fucking valid okay and we support you

 **Emo-Nightmare:**... roman?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** dude please say something and shut me up before I keep rambling

 **Princey:** I...

 **Emo-Nightmare:** ro?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** im sorry if i upset you

 **Princey:** You’ve done the exact opposite of upset me, my Dark and Stormy Knight

 **Emo-Nightmare:** oh

 **Princey:** You’re right that I was nervous to tell y’all I’m trans

 **Emo-Nightmare:** “y’all”

 **Princey:** Don’t bully me asshole I’m southern

 **Emo-Nightmare:** ew

 **Emo-Nightmare:** that explains so much

 **Princey:** What’s that supposed to mean?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** no wonder your parents are transphobic dicks if youre fucking southern

 **Princey:** Parents, school, literally everyone I ever interacted with ever

 **Princey:** The only people who weren’t completely shit were the other theater kids

 **Emo-Nightmare:** you did theater???

 **Princey:** Yes

 **Princey:** Emphasis on the did. I haven’t performed in years.

 **Emo-Nightmare:** why?

 **Princey:**...

 **Princey:** AS I was saying before someone rudely interrupted me, although I was nervous to tell y’all I was trans

 **Emo-Nightmare:** please stop saying that

 **Princey:** Never

 **Princey:** I didn’t expect it to go well but... it did.

 **Princey:** It went, wonderful actually. Better than I had expected.

 **Princey:** All y’all just accepted me like ‘twasn’t a big deal

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i hate you

 **Princey:** I mean,,, same

 **Emo-Nightmare:** roman...

 **Princey:** What?

 **Princey:** I SAID NOTHING YOU HAVE NO PROOF

 **Emo-Nightmare:** you literally just implied you hated yourself

 **Princey:** I wouldn’t say it’s implied

 **Emo-Nightmare:** r o m a n

 **Princey:** Sorry

 **Princey:** We are not here to talk about my self esteem issues okay let’s get back on track

 **Emo-Nightmare:** we’re here because i wanted to see if you were okay

 **Emo-Nightmare:** clearly youre not

 **Emo-Nightmare:** and im the master of not being okay so i would know

 **Princey:** Now I’m worried about you

 **Emo-Nightmare:** most people are

 **Princey:**...

 **Emo-Nightmare:** surprise bitch youre not the only one who hates yourself

 **Princey:** I... have no idea how to respond to that.

 **Princey:** Y’ALL’D’VE

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i will fight you

 **Princey:** Square up

 **Emo-Nightmare:** square up thot

 **Princey:** how dare-

 **Emo-Nightmare:** seriously though roman

 **Princey:** The amount of times you’ve said my name in this one conversation is disturbing

 **Princey:** It’s too serious

 **Emo-Nightmare:** this was supposed to be a serious conversation

 **Princey:** Sorry

 **Princey:** Where were we at again?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** insufferable

 **Princey:** I try

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i...

 **Emo-Nightmare:** this is not how i planned on this conversation going

 **Princey:** You had a plan?

 **Emo-Nightmare:** a general one yes

 **Emo-Nightmare:** i have one for every conversation i enter ever

 **Emo-Nightmare:** try to at least

 **Princey:** Oh my god

 **Emo-Nightmare:** comes with the social anxiety

 **Emo-Nightmare:** and just the anxiety in general

 **Emo-Nightmare:** about half my personality is anxiety actually

 **Emo-Nightmare:** the other half is raging self-hatred

 **Princey:**... And you’re worried about me

 **Princey:** Bless your heart

 **Emo-Nightmare:** at least i acknowledge i have problems

 **Emo-Nightmare:** also fuck you

 **Princey:** whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es

 **Emo-Nightmare:** S T O P

 **Princey:** I refuse

 **Emo-Nightmare:** and i refuse to speak to you any longer

 **Princey:** uh..

 **Emo-Nightmare:** sorry, you are fucking Blocked.

 **Emo-Nightmare:** goodbye

**Emo-Nightmare has left the chat**

**Princey:**...

 **Princey:** and they say _I’m_ the dramatic one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I have no idea if this comes off even half as funny to everyone else as it does to me. Or if it makes any amount of sense at all.  
>  I guess you can let me know in the comments. 
> 
> I really do apologize, this was supposed to be a serious chapter with a serious conversation and maybe angst, but Roman absolutely refused to let that happen. He really has an aversion to talking about his feelings (like same Roman).


	3. 20 Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys play 20 Questions and Roman continues to be very Southern

**Purrfectly_Patton:** 20 QUESTIONS

**Princey:** 2 0 Q U E S T I O N S 

**Emo-Nightmare:** 20 q u e s t i o n s 

**Self-Care-Who:** What is happening? 

**Princey:** Aw, Logan ruined it 

**Emo-Nightmare:** lame 

**Self-Care-Who:** I ruined what, exactly? 

**Princey:** 20 questions 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** You could never ruin anything 

**Self-Care-Who:** That is scientifically inaccurate, Patton. We are all capable of ruining many things.

**Purrfectly_Patton:** No! 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** None of you can ruin a thing

**Purrfectly_Patton:** You’re all perfect and special just the way that you are

**Emo-Nightmare:** i mean i ruin my life all the time 

**Princey:** mood 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Excuse me?! 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I will fight you! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** .... pardon

**Purrfectly_Patton:** If you do not stop talking bad about yourself 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I will physically fight you

**Self-Care-Who:** Alright Patton, perhaps you should calm down just a tad 

**Self-Care-Who:** Take a, as they say, “Chill Pill” 

**Princey:** And Virgil says that my vocabulary is awful 

**Emo-Nightmare:** at least logan has never said anything that’s an abomination of nature 

**Self-Care-Who:** What has Roman said that you consider “an abomination of nature” 

**Emo-Nightmare:** e v e r y t h i n g 

**Princey:** Rude! 

**Princey:** Just because y’all are so deeply uncultured 

**Emo-Nightmare:** s t o p 

**Princey:** Ain’t never gonna be able to do that, darlin’ 

**Emo-Nightmare:** ... 

**Emo-Nightmare:** Can I kill him, please? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Now Virgil, murder is wrong.

**Self-Care-Who:** Did Roman just call Virgil “darling”? Have I missed something? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** yeah 

**Emo-Nightmare:** Roman’s southern and a fucking annoying piece of shit 

**Princey:** Says you

**Purrfectly_Patton:** YOU’RE SOUTHERN???

**Princey:** Yeah 

**Princey:** I really don’t see why all y’all make a big deal out of it 

**Emo-Nightmare:** ALL Y’ALL 

**Emo-Nightmare:** ALL YOU ALL THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE 

**Emo-Nightmare:** WHAT THE FUCK ROMAN 

**Princey:** I stand by what I said 

**Self-Care-Who:** Roman being southern does actually make a great deal of sense considering what we already know about him 

**Princey:** Not everyone in the south is transphobic or homophobic okay? 

**Princey:** You ain’t gotta jump straight to that conclusion, some of them are actually decent people.

**Self-Care-Who:** ... I agree with Virgil this new language is atrocious 

**Princey:** Uh! 

**Princey:** Patton they’re attacking me! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** pat princey is making up words to annoy me

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Kiddos, play nice, or I will turn this car around right now 

**Self-Care-Who:** But we are not in a car

**Purrfectly_Patton:** I will turn it around right now, mister! 

**Princey:** lol Patton is the dad of the group 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Yes I am. 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** And that means if you don’t behave I’ll put you in timeout 

**Emo-Nightmare:** on top of the fridge? 

**Princey:** THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

**Emo-Nightmare:** youre a nightmare 

**Princey:** Pretty sure that’s your name, actually. 

**Self-Care-Who:** Was that a vine reference? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** oh my god 

**Princey:** He knows Vine 

**Emo-Nightmare:** what is the world coming to 

**Self-Care-Who:** ...

**Self-Care-Who:** I believe we had planned to do 20 Questions?

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Ooh! Can I go first?! 

**Princey:** Of course you can, Padre 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Yay! 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** What is everyone’s favorite colors? 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Mine is sky blue

**Emo-Nightmare:** purple

**Self-Care-Who:** Navy Blue

**Princey:** Is it too cliche to say the Rainbow?

**Emo-Nightmare:** yeah but youre a walking cliche anyways so does it matter

**Princey:** You’re just jealous I’m gayer than you 

**Emo-Nightmare:** bitch 

**Emo-Nightmare:** you wish 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Language...

**Emo-Nightmare has changed Purrfectly_Patton’s name to Dad**

**Emo-Nightmare:** okay lets continue the questions now

**Princey:** Then ask us one, Surely Temple 

**Emo-Nightmare:** do you just have a catalog of these or something 

**Princey:** Wouldn’t you like to know

**Emo-Nightmare:** bite me

**Self-Care-Who:** Pardon?

**Princey:** kinky

**Dad:** Patton! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i hate all of you

**Dad:** But-

**Emo-Nightmare:** except pat 

**Dad:** Love ya too kiddo! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** makes one of us 

**Dad:** i  _ will _ fight you 

**Emo-Nightmare:** you and princey both

**Princey:** Always dtf

**Emo-Nightmare:** down to fuck

**Princey:** down to fight 

**Emo-Nightmare:** wrong but sure 

**Self-Care-Who:** Virgil, do you have a question? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** right 

**Emo-Nightmare:** what do you do after a long day to relax? 

**Self-Care-Who:** Puzzles 

**Purrfectly_Patton:** Eat a cookie

**Purrfectly_Patton:** and when I’m feeling dangerous... Eat a second cookie 

**Princey:** Put on Disney songs and cook

**Emo-Nightmare:** you can cook?

**Princey:** of course I can 

**Princey:** I’m  _ Southern _

**Princey:** Every perfect southern  _ lady  _ learns how to cook

**Princey:** It’s what’s expected 

**Emo-Nightmare:** dont sound bitter at all 

**Princey:** fight me 

**Emo-Nightmare:** meet me in the dennys parking lot

**Self-Care-Who:** Why the Denny’s parking lot? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** how the fuck do you have Tumblr and not know about dennys 

**Self-Care-Who:** Should I? 

**Princey:** hopeless

**Emo-Nightmare:** yeah you are 

**Princey:** Why are you like this? 

**Princey:** What have I ever done to you? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** exist 

**Princey:** ... 

**Princey:** I’m going to ask my question now! 

**Dad:** Go for it kiddo

**Princey:** Now this is a very important question because I plan on establishing movie nights after everyone moves in, 

**Dad:** That sounds awesome! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** sounds awful 

**Princey:** Too bad, we’re doing it. 

**Princey:** What is your favorite Disney movie? 

**Self-Care-Who:** Big Hero Six

**Dad:** Winnie-The-Pooh 

**Emo-Nightmare:** Black Cauldron 

**Princey:** Excellent. I’ll double check my collection to make sure I have those all, which I should as I of course own every Disney movie

**Emo-Nightmare:** nerd 

**Emo-Nightmare has changed Princey’s name to big-fucking-disney-nerd**

**Self-Care-Who:** Now that is just ridiculous 

**Emo-Nightmare:** youre ridiculous

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** You’re now wrong though

**Dad:** Language! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** too late its in his name 

**Self-Care-Who:** You can change it...?

**Emo-Nightmare:** nope too late 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** t’ain’t 

**Emo-Nightmare:** that 

**Emo-Nightmare:** IS NOT A WORD

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** You have no proof  it isn’t 

**Self-Care-Who:** A dictionary?

**big-fucking-disney-nerd has changed Self-Care-Who’s name to A-Dictionary**

**Emo-Nightmare:** thats great 

**A-Dictionary:** Hilarious 

**Dad:** I think it’s fun! 

**A-Dictionary:** Right. 

**A-Dictionary:** Should I ask my question now? 

**Dad:** Shoot for it LoLo! We’re ready. 

**A-Dictionary:** Actually, I was hoping to ask a question just for Virgil, since earlier I asked Patton a question 

**Dad:** Oh, well that sounds great too Lo! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** dont know why you would but sure

**A-Dictionary:** Earlier you mentioned that you play instruments, and I was curious if you would tell us which ones? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i mean im not great at anything 

**Emo-Nightmare:** but i can play piano guitar violin and a tiny bit of ukulele 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** That’s so cool! I’ve always wanted to play ukulele 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i mean i just use youtube videos 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i could send you the links i use if you want 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** That would be cool 

**Dad:** Awww, look at you two bonding!!

**Dad:** You two can play for us together! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** absolutely not 

**Dad:** Well we’ll work on it. 

**A-Dictionary:** Are we going to do another round of questions? 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** I should have time for a few more before my lunch break is over 

**Dad:** Lightning Round! 

**Dad:** What is everyone’s favorite animal? This is really important for reasons I can’t disclose

**A-Dictionary:** Owls

**Emo-Nightmare:** wolves

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** The Dragon Witch

**A-Dictionary:** Pardon? 

**A-Dictionary:** What the  _ hell  _ is a “Dragon Witch” 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Exactly what it sounds like

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** she is The Dragon Witch

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** The Manticore-Chimera is my second favorite though 

**A-Dictionary:** Now you are just making things up 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** That’s how everything is created Logan 

**A-Dictionary:** Animals are... not created 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Everything is created 

**Emo-Nightmare:** some lightning round this is 

**Dad:** Quick, ask your question Virgil! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** uh... 

**Emo-Nightmare:** what are the two different types of people on earth?

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** People who say “Bless your heart” and mean it nicely and those who say it correctly 

**Dad:** People who eat pineapple on pizza and people who are missing out 

**A-Dictionary:** Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr 

**Dad:** Roman, keep the lightning round going and ask your question before something else happens! 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Oh, okay, this is a good one. 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** If you could go to one fictional world, where would it be? 

**A-Dictionary:** Dr. Who 

**Dad:** Steven Universe! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** harry potter i guess

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** You have no Hogwarts house but you would go to Harry Potter? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** being a wizard could be fun 

**Emo-Nightmare:** learn to turn into an animal and then never have to deal with humans again 

**A-Dictionary:** It  _ would  _ be quite fascinating to study all of that magic. 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Play Quidditch 

**Emo-Nightmare:** be able to make someone break into boils 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** You are a twisted human 

**Emo-Nightmare:** thanks

**Dad:** L I G H T N I N G R O U N D 

**Dad:** Logan it’s your turn! 

**A-Dictionary:** Alright, I have a question just for Roman this time 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Yo

**Emo-Nightmare:** lame

**A-Dictionary:** Roman, since you are southern, does that mean you listen to country music? 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** I’ve been known to, yes 

**Emo-Nightmare:** this keeps getting worse and worse 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** There is good country music you know 

**Dad:** Taylor Swift! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** pat n o

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Pat yes

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMIN’ SCREEN DOOR

**Dad:** SNEAKING OUT LATE 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** TAPPIN ON YOUR WINDOW 

**Dad:** WHEN WE’RE ON THE PHONE AND YOU TALK REAL SLOW

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** CAUSE ITS LATE AND YOUR MAMA DONT KNOW

**Dad:** OUR SONG IS THE WAY YOU LAUGH 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** THE FIRST DATE 

**Dad:** “MAN I DIDN'T KISS HER AND I SHOULD HAVE”

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** AND WHEN I GOT HOME 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd: ‘** FORE I SAID AMEN

**Dad:** ASKING GOD IF HE 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** COULD PLAY IT AGAIN

**Emo-Nightmare:** annnnd logan is now my new favorite and you two are dead to me 

**Emo-Nightmare has left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot, what's a plot?   
> Am I still making sense in this story?   
> Am I enjoying Southern Roman too much?   
> Idk, but this was a lot of fun to make so hopefully it was as enjoyable to read. 
> 
> Any shenanigans you want to see the boys get up to? Let me know in the comments, or shoot me a message on Tumblr. I'm always looking for more ideas, especially because this is maybe the easiest thing to write in between all of my school work. 
> 
> Until next time, take it easy Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals.


	4. *yeets into the pit of despair*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil continues to try to make Roman talk to him, and Roman continues to avoid any real conversation

**Emo-Nightmare has joined the chat**

**Emo-Nightmare has renamed the chat The Pit Of Despair**

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Well ain’t you a bottle of sunshine? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i hate you

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** big mood 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** What’s up with the title change?

**Emo-Nightmare:** patton seems pretty upset when we bad talk ourselves in the other chat 

**Emo-Nightmare:** but like clearly we both have issues

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** What you mean we both hate ourselves 

**Emo-Nightmare:** yes

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** I don’t know why you think that’s an issue it’s just a fact of life

**Emo-Nightmare:** ... 

**Emo-Nightmare:** you worry me so much 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** sorry 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** You shouldn’t worry about me 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Not worth it 

**Emo-Nightmare:** *inhales deeply* 

**Emo-Nightmare:** boi 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Sorry it’s the truth 

**Emo-Nightmare:** ... do i need to bring Patton in here to fight you

**Emo-Nightmare:** because i will 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** I thought the goal was not to worry Pat

**Emo-Nightmare:** the goal is to not have our first meeting with Patton turn into an actual physical fist fight which is exactly where things have been headed 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Do you think we would get kicked out of our apartment if we started a fight in the first day? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** probably 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** yeah

**Emo-Nightmare:** we would have to be street rats then 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** We can be Aladdin! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** you sound far too happy about that 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** A l a d d i n Virgil 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Do you not understand 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** He is arguably one of the hottest Disney Princes in the world 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** and he marries Jasmine who has a fucking tiger, and is also heckin fucking pretty and badass 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** AND GREAT MUSIC! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** do not 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** SHINING SHIMMERING SPLENDID 

**Emo-Nightmare:** oh my god 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i should have left you on that street corner where you were standing

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** But ya didn’t 

**Emo-Nightmare:** you’ve saved yourself for now 

**Emo-Nightmare:** but youre on thin fucking ice 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** ... 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** whomst’d’ve 

**Emo-Nightmare:** THATS IT 

**Emo-Nightmare has left the chat**

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Every fucking time

* * *

**big-fucking-disney-nerd has added Emo-Nightmare to the chat**

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Seriously though Virgil what is this chat for 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i mean i thought the name was pretty obvious 

**Emo-Nightmare:** its the pit of despair 

**Emo-Nightmare:** so that we can hate ourselves without worrying Patton 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Oh

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** *yeets into the pit of despair* 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** There’s no escape from the pit of despair you know 

**Emo-Nightmare:** Roman 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** I’m fine, Jack Smellington 

**Emo-Nightmare:** youre not 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** No really, everything’s absolutely wonderful trust me 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Much better than it has been in years 

**Emo-Nightmare:** that... 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Srry, my break is over I have to get back to work 

**Emo-Nightmare:** Roman 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Bye Virgil

**Emo-Nightmare:** you cant keep running away from your problems 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd has left the chat**

**Emo-Nightmare:** asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than usual, but like listen I'm sick okay and this was written last night and I have no idea if it makes any sense so I figured it was better to just like, stop there   
> With any luck there'll be another chapter either later today or tomorrow that will also be a little shorter than normal, but together they'll make one like regular length chapter so hopefully that'll be good.   
> Also I do totally finally have a sort of plot for this story so uhm, that's good, might be able to move things along just a little bit although with Roman's aversion to all real conversations it could still take a while. But we'll get there, I promise. Hopefully. Maybe.


	5. Virgil Is Always Worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil decides to ask Patton for some help with the Roman problem

**Emo-Nightmare has started a new chat**

**Emo-Nightmare has added Dad to the chat**

**Emo-Nightmare has renamed the chat I’m Worried**

**Dad:** Virgil?

**Dad:** What’s going on kiddo, are you okay?

**Emo-Nightmare:** pat... 

**Emo-Nightmare:** what would you do if you were worried about someone you knew 

**Emo-Nightmare:** but they wont talk to you about whats wrong and refuse to even acknowledge that theyre hurting

**Dad:** Well I think it depends on the situation and what you’re worried about 

**Dad:** Is it something serious? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** not that serious no

**Emo-Nightmare:** at least i don’t think so

**Dad:** Then I would say how you approach the situation depends on your friend 

**Dad:** Maybe if you told me a little more about them and why you’re worried I could give you some better advice 

**Emo-Nightmare:** ...

**Emo-Nightmare:** promise you wont say anything 

**Dad:** Cross my Heart 

**Emo-Nightmare:** it’s...

**Emo-Nightmare:** it’s roman 

**Dad:** Roman like our roommate Roman Prince Roman?

**Emo-Nightmare:** thats the one

**Dad:** Why are you concerned about him? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** besides the fact im always concerned about my friends well beings 

**Dad:** awww that’s so sweet!!

**Emo-Nightmare:** no thats anxiety 

**Dad:** Still sweet 

**Emo-Nightmare:** debatable 

**Dad:** i will fight you

**Emo-Nightmare:** we’re supposed to be talking about romans problems not mine 

**Dad:** We can do both

**Emo-Nightmare:** no 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i have a therapist for that thanks

**Dad:** Well, if you ever want to talk I’m here

**Emo-Nightmare:** thanks pat

**Dad:** anytime kiddo

**Dad:** Now, about Roman 

**Emo-Nightmare:** right 

**Dad:** Has he said something specific that made you worry? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** more like what he’s avoided saying that makes me worry 

**Dad:** ??

**Emo-Nightmare:** every time i ask him if hes doing okay or something like that he always changes the subject without giving a straight answer 

**Emo-Nightmare:** but hes said like multiple times in a non-joking way he hates himself 

**Emo-Nightmare:** and that he doesnt think hes worthy of being cared about 

**Dad:** n o 

**Emo-Nightmare:** and he refuses to talk about it or let me say anything otherwise like he always changes the subject 

**Emo-Nightmare:** pretends hes okay 

**Emo-Nightmare:** but like hes clearly not!!! 

**Emo-Nightmare:** and i... 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i dont know what to do

**Dad:** Well, I think what you shouldn’t do is try to push Roman into saying too much if he doesn’t want to 

**Dad:** The last thing you want to do is make him close in on himself and become even more defensive and unwilling to talk 

**Dad:** For now I think the best thing you can do is just, be there for him. 

**Dad:** I know it’s hard kiddo, but you can’t always fix everyone’s problems right away 

**Dad:** Sometimes we have to step back and let life happen for a minute and see where it takes us 

**Dad:** Let Roman know that he can talk to you without pushing him into feeling like he has to 

**Dad:** And don’t judge him no matter what he says 

**Dad:** The poor kiddo has been through a lot in his life, his entire family rejects who he is

**Dad:** You just have to give him some time 

**Emo-Nightmare:** yeah i guess 

**Emo-Nightmare:** thanks pat 

**Dad:** Anytime kiddo. 

**Dad:** And Virgil?

**Emo-Nightmare:** yeah

**Dad:** If you ever need to talk to someone about this, I’m always right here 

**Dad:** If it ever gets too much... I can try and help out the best I can 

**Emo-Nightmare:** thank you 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That might be the only time I've ever followed through on a promise to update. But look I did it!   
> A little bit more serious of a chapter, but hey it had to happen at some point. Hopefully it's still as good as the rest of the story. I don't actually have time to think about that because I'm in a bit of a rush.   
> Next chapter should go back to being a bit longer and hopefully with all of the boys back together. If things go to plan.


	6. The Bestest Mostest Dynamicist duoist duo in the entire Thomasphere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y’all: Don’t try to repress who I am Virgil   
> my-dark-strange-son: i hate you   
> Y’all: Thanks. You can join the others   
> Patdre: Roman!!

**Dad:** G U Y S 

**Dad:** G U Y S OH MY GOD 

**Dad:** YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** WHAT HAPPENED PAT-DRE

**Dad:** Roman…

**Dad has changed their name to Patdre**

**Patdre:** I love you

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** awww, love you too Pat

**Patdre:** <3 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** <3 <3 

**Patdre:** <3 <3 <3

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** <3 <3 <3 <3

**Logan:** Can you two please stop?

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Can you stop being a party pooper, pocket protector?

**Logan:** ….

**Logan:** Patton, you said you had news to share, did you not? 

**Patdre:** !!!! 

**Patdre:** y E s 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd has changed Logan’s name to Pocket-Protector**

**Pocket-Protector:** You are such a child 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** And you are such a stuck up nerd 

**Patdre:** Now kiddos that isn’t very nice of you both 

**Emo-Nightmare:** since when have any of us been nice

**Emo-Nightmare:** besides you pat youre always nice 

**Patdre:** aw, thanks Virgil 

**Patdre has changed Emo-Nightmare’s name to my-dark-strange-son**

**Patdre:** I love my dark strange son 

**my-dark-strange-son:** feelings mutual 

**Patdre:** !!!! 

**my-dark-strange-son:** pat wai-

**Pocket-Protector:** … 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** did Patton just kill Virgil over the phone?

**Pocket-Protector:** That is statistically highly improbable if not impossible 

**Pocket-Protector:** It is most likely just a pure coincidence that Virgil was cut off typing while talking to Patton 

**my-dark-strange-son:** or patton tackled me in a hug before i could finish typing 

**Patdre:** sorry!! 

**Patdre:** I was just really happy 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** pardon?

**Pocket-Protector:** Patton tackled you in a hug? How is that possible? 

**Patdre:** oh!!! I never finished my announcement 

**Patdre:** Guys I F O U N D V I R G I L 

**my-dark-strange-son:** i mean technically we found each other but yeah

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** you… there are each other?

**Patdre:** Yeah! 

**my-dark-strange-son:** turns out pat lives like two hours away from where I live 

**Patdre:** I was driving out to drop off one of our mama cats in a foster home, and I stopped to get a coffee for the drive back and !!! 

**Patdre:** There was Virgil!! 

**Pocket-Protector:** Virgil works at a coffee shop? 

**my-dark-strange-son:** no my brother remy works at a coffee shop 

**my-dark-strange-son:** i just cover for their fucking ass whenever their boyfriend is in town for some reason

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** So how did you know it was Virgil when you met him? 

**Patdre:** Well, Virgil was the one that brought me my coffee and when he did he asked me if I was okay

**my-dark-strange-son:** your eyes were red and you were crying you looked like shit 

**my-dark-strange-son:** pat wasnt kidding when he said hes allergic to cats and hes not allowed near them ever again 

**Patdre:** It’s just a little bit of allergies, I’ll be right as rain tomorrow. 

**my-dark-strange-son:** that does not seem accurate or possible 

**Patdre:** Well… 

**my-dark-strange-son:** for those of you that cant see patton just shrugged 

**my-dark-strange-son:** so theres that

**Pocket-Protector:** The thread of this conversation has been severely lost. 

**Pocket-Protector:** Can we please get back on track? 

**Patdre:** right 

**Patdre:** So Virgil asked me if I was okay, and we started talking 

**my-dark-strange-song:** and patton brought up college and like as soon as he did like i realized that he was patton heart aka my roommate 

**Patdre:** And as soon as he told me, I jumped up and hugged him before texting you guys because !!! good news!!!

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** *y’all 

**my-dark-strange-son:** … 

**my-dark-strange-son has changed big-fucking-disney-nerd’s name to forbidden-words**

**my-dark-strange-son:** please leave your cursed language out of here

**forbidden-words:** … No 

**forbidden-words has changed their name to Y’all**

**Y’all:** Don’t try to repress who I am Virgil 

**my-dark-strange-son:** i hate you 

**Y’all:** Thanks. You can join the others 

**Patdre:** Roman!! 

**my-dark-strange-son:** pat just made the saddest sound ever and i swear if you were here he would have tackled you in a hug and not let go 

**Patdre:** I’m going to when I meet you Roman!! I am going to hug you until you know just how much we love you and how great and special and awesome and great you are 

**Pocket-Protector:** How would a hug help him know any of those things beyond perhaps that you care about him? 

**Patdre:** Because it’s not just a hug! It’s a Patton hug 

**Patdre:** They’re special 

**my-dark-strange-son:** can confirm

**Y’all:** Well, then I look forward to this special hug from you Patton 

**Y’all:** If Dr. Gloom enjoys it then it must truly be magical

**my-dark-strange-son:** i take offense to that 

**Y’all:** good 

**Patdre:** As soon as I meet you Roman, I don’t care if I have to drop every box I am holding 

**Patdre:** I *am* going to hug you 

**Pocket-Protector:** Why does that sound vaguely like a threat?

**my-dark-strange-son:** knowing pat it probably is 

**Patdre:** And after that, I’m going to hug Logan because he doesn’t think my hugs are special and I have to prove him wrong 

**Pocket-Protector:** I merely said I did not understand how hug could make a person feel better about themselves, not that yours were not special. 

**Patdre:** :( 

**my-dark-strange-son:** the look on pats face tells me thats basically the same thing 

**Patdre:** :((((

**my-dark-strange-son:** he looks really upset you should probably apologize 

**Patdre:** :((((((((((((

**Pocket-Protector:** But I did not say anything wrong. 

**Patdre:** :(((((((((((((((((((((

**Y’all:** Clearly you did because you hurt Pat’s feelings 

**Patdre:** :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

**my-dark-strange-son:** hes not going to stop until you apologize 

**Patdre:** :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

**Pocket-Protector:** Well, then I suppose I should apologize, Patton, for hurting your feelings. I do believe that your hugs must be special as you yourself are a deeply empathetic person and if you can transfer even a fifth the amount of love you hold in your heart through every hug, than it would be the most caring hug in the world 

**Y’all:** Holy shit 

**Y’all:** The nerd is smooth as fuck 

**Patdre:** Adjkdhfkh

**my-dark-strange-son:** i think you broke patton 

**my-dark-strange-son:** he just made a really high squealing noise and the whole cafe is watching us now

**my-dark-strange-son:** i didnt think it was possible for a person to smile this much 

**Patdre:** LOGAN 

**Patdre:** OH MY GOD 

**Patdre:** Do you really think that about me???? 

**Pocket-Protector:** Of course, Patton. 

**Pocket-Protector:** I have never met a more kind or caring person in all of my life. You truly have the biggest Heart of all the people that I know, and indeed probably in the entire world. 

**Pocket-Protector:** Statistically speaking, of course. 

**Patdre:** Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! 

**Patdre:** Now I have to give you an extra long hug because you said something so sweet 

**Pocket-Protector:** Oh, that is really not necessary 

**Patdre:** Too late! 

**my-dark-strange-son:** the look on pats face tells me youre not getting out of this 

**Pocket-Protector:** Ah, well in that case, I suppose I should say thank you? 

**Patdre:** !!!! Thank YOU Logan for being so sweet. 

**Pocket-Protector:** I was merely stating facts. Purely scientifical. 

**Patdre:** Suuuuuuure 

**Pocket-Protector:** From the point of view of mere facts and logic, that’s it 

**Patdre:** Whatever you say LoLo

**Pocket-Protector:** ...

**Y’all has changed Pocket-Protector’s name to Flustered-Nerd**

**Y’all:** this has been the grossest chat we’ve ever had 

**my-dark-strange-son:** i vote we dont do it again

**Flustered-Nerd:** I am not flustered, Roman 

**Y’all:** suuuuuuuure 

**Flustered-Nerd:** I’m not! 

**Y’all:** Whatever you say Lo 

**Y’all:** whatever you say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman for someone who is trying to pretend everything is okay you're really, really bad at it.
> 
> So much has happened, and yet there's still so much to go.   
> Honestly, I'm just excited to get up to the point where they meet because that's when real plot can happen, but for now... Well, there are still some exciting plot things to come before that. Maybe. Don't hold me to anything, because writing this story things just happen sometimes so like, we'll see
> 
> And yes, Remy and Virgil are twins that's just a fact now. Remington and Virgil Storm. I love them.


	7. Late Night Chats with Virgil and Roman (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Roman have some late night chats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, Virgil and Roman get into some deep and kind of weird conversations, there's some talk about death and anxiety, so just stay safe kiddos, and have fun reading.

**Emo-Nightmare:** do you think aliens would like pineapple on their pizza

**Emo-Nightmare:** wait do you think aliens would even like pizza 

**Emo-Nightmare:** what if theyre lactose intolerant and cant eat cheese 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Bold of you to assume that aliens can eat any amount of human food anyways 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** their bodies probably aren’t made to process the shit we eat

**Emo-Nightmare:** our bodies arent meant to process the shit we eat 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** exactly

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** If they could though I bet aliens would accept pineapple as a pizza topping even if they didn’t like the taste because unlike humans they’re probably not assholes 

**Emo-Nightmare:** i guess we’ll see once they take over the world

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** I for one can’t wait for our alien overlords to arrive

**Emo-Nightmare:** same 

* * *

**Emo-Nightmare:** Oxygen oxidizes things.

**Emo-Nightmare:** We breathe oxygen. 

**Emo-Nightmare:** So essentially, with every breath we take, we’re burning up from the inside out. 

**Emo-Nightmare:** You would expect it to be painful, but we hardly feel it anymore. But what if that’s why babies are always screaming and crying? 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** or maybe theyre crying because they know that the world is a horrible cruel place and they've been thrust into against their will and now they have to live for the rest of their lives dealing with the mental and emotional trauma that’s bound to come as they grow up

**Emo-Nightmare:** … dude 

**Emo-Nightmare:** are you okay?

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** have I ever been okay Virgil? 

**Emo-Nightmare:** ro… 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** it’s fine hot topic 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** it’s just been a long day

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** nothing unusual 

**Emo-Nightmare:** are you sure 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** that it’s nothing unusual? Very

**Emo-Nightmare:** … 

**Emo-Nightmare:** youre very close to taking my title as the biggest emo in the group 

**big-fucking-disney-nerd:** Don’t worry, i still haven’t listened to mcr so your title is safe

**Emo-Nightmare:** blocked and reported for bullying 

* * *

**my-dark-strange-son:** anxiety is the fight or flight response. But why do we get a fight or flight response for no seemingly no reason?

**my-dark-strange-son:** Answer: there is a reason 

**my-dark-strange-son:** Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there

**my-dark-strange-son:** But what is it

**my-dark-strange-son:** It’s everywhere

**my-dark-strange-son:** We can’t escape it

**my-dark-strange-son:** It controls our every day

**my-dark-strange-son:** But we cannot know what it is

**my-dark-strange-son:** All we know is it is dangerous

**my-dark-strange-son:** And it is here

**Y’all:** … 

**Y’all:** And you’re worried about me because…?

**Y’all:** seriously panic! at the everywhere, are you gucci? 

**my-dark-strange-son:** not particularly 

**my-dark-strange-son:** ive been laying in bed unable to sleep for like three hours now 

**my-dark-strange-son:** the lights still on 

**my-dark-strange-son:** i keep telling myself to get up to turn it off but i just cant… 

**my-dark-strange-son:** but my mind keeps coming up with stuff like this 

**Y’all:** V… is your brother home? 

**my-dark-strange-son:** yeah

**my-dark-strange-son:** but so is their boyfriend because he has nowhere else to stay while in town

**Y’all:** Will you please text them for me anyways? 

**Y’all:** I know you probably don’t want to bother them, but I would feel better knowing you aren’t alone right now 

**my-dark-strange-son:** theyve already been with me for most of the day because its been a bad one

**my-dark-strange-son:** and its emiles last night i should let the two of them be

**Y’all:** I could text Patton and have them drive two hours to find you

**my-dark-strange-son:** …

**my-dark-strange-son:** fine

**Y’all:** thank you

* * *

**my-dark-strange-son:** ro

**my-dark-strange-son:** roman 

**my-dark-strange-son:** r o m a n 

**my-dark-strange-son:** princey 

**Y’all:** you called?

**my-dark-strange-son:** do you ever think about how fucking weird it is that only gay people have to come out 

**my-dark-strange-son:** like why dont straight people have to come out 

**my-dark-strange-son:** why is it only us 

**my-dark-strange-son:** why is straight the default

**Y’all:** heteronormativity 

**Y’all:** it’s fucked up 

**Y’all:** why is cis and why is binary the default 

**my-dark-strange-son:** !!! that too 

**my-dark-strange-son:** what the fuck is up with that who made those rules 

**Y’all:** I believe cis straight white men 

**my-dark-strange-son:** motherfuckers 

**my-dark-strange-son:** they ruin everything

**Y’all:** you can say that again

**Y’all:** … 

**Y’all:** is there a reason you brought this up? 

**Y’all:** are you okay?

**my-dark-strange-son:** remy and i are watching love simon together 

**my-dark-strange-son:** insomnia and being gay are the two biggest things we have in common 

**Y’all:** Is it a good movie? 

**my-dark-strange-son:** uhhh only the best movie ever 

**my-dark-strange-son:** have you not seen it?? 

**Y’all:** i’ve been meaning to I just never got around to it

**my-dark-strange-son:** so were marking that as number for your movie nights 

**my-dark-strange-son:** be prepared with tissues because patton will definitely cry and so will the rest of you probably 

**Y’all:** What about you? 

**my-dark-strange-son:** as if i have feelings 

**Y’all has changed their name to Concerned** **™**

**Concerned** **™:** but also mood 

**my-dark-strange-son:** so is your name 

**Concerned** **™:** the perpetual cycle 

**my-dark-strange-son:** concern is an emotion

**Concerned** **™:** i only feel emotions for other people 

**my-dark-strange-son:** … what?

**Concerned** **™:** idk 

**Concerned** **™:** im not thinking straight 

**Concerned** **™:** ever

**Concerned** **™:** im not straight

**my-dark-strange-son:** and thats the biggest mood of the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of a few late night chats with Virgil and Roman, which will come up in a later story in the series, but mostly it's just some bonding for Prinxiety which is fun.  
> Also, shout out to my lovely friend that helped me out with the ideas for Virgil's random late night thoughts, I would have never thought of any of this without their help, so thank you!


	8. Fuck The Gemder Binary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy is having issues with their boyfriend, and Roman is having issues loving himself. Patton's a concerned friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes Remy's name is Starkbucks

**Starbucks has started a chat**

**Starbucks has added Y’all and Patdre to the chat**

**Starbucks has renamed the chat Fuck The Gemder Binary**

**Starkbucks:** sup bitches 

**Starkbucks:** and welcome to my ted talk

**Patdre:** Hi Remy!!

**Patdre:** Oh! And Roman!! Hi Roman!!!

**Y’all:** Greetings, Patdre

**Y’all:** And person I do not know

**Starkbucks:** I’m Virgil’s twin 

**Y’all:** so you’re the one who’s related to the emo nightmare 

**Starkbucks:** okay that’s the best description I’ve ever heard of V

**Patdre:** Roman’s really good at making up nicknames

**Patdre:** he’s the creativist of all of us

**Y’all:** … do you really think that Pat? 

**Patdre:** Of course I do kiddo! 

**Y’all:** <3 

**Patdre:** <3 <3 

**Starkbucks:** Okay no ma’am you are not starting with this 

**Starkbucks:** Keep your adorable lovey bullshit away from me, I do not want to see it 

**Patdre:** Is it because you’re fighting with Emilie? 

**Starkbucks:** … okay well first off we’re not fighting so put that thought out of your head right now 

**Y’all:** suuuure you’re not 

**Starkbucks:** secondly where the fuck did you even get the idea we were? 

**Patdre:** … 

**Patdre:** Virgil might have mentioned it 

**Starkbucks:** That bitch 

**Y’all:** he mentioned it several times 

**Patdre:** He did? 

**Y’all:** that might have been after y’all went to bed 

**Y’all:** in the pit of despair 

**Starkbucks:** oh my god that’s great 

**Patdre:** thE wHAT?!

**Y’all:** that’s what he named our personal chat 

**Starkbucks:** you mean the one where you discuss fucking mothman at 3 in the morning 

**Y’all:** Look, I wasn’t the one that brought it up, okay, it’s your brother who has a thing for cryptid’s not me 

**Starkbucks:** … 

**Starkbucks:** I did NOT need to know that at all 

**Patdre:** could we uh maybe not talk about this? 

**Patdre:** please? 

**Y’all:** Not talk about what? 

**Y’all:** wait 

**Y’all:** oh my god 

**Y’all:** REMY 

**Y’all:** NO

**Y’all:** T’WASNT WHAT I MEANT

**Starkbucks:** I mean if you want to be honest about Virgil, he probably would fuck mothman

**Y’all:** … I’m going to tell him you said that

**Patdre:** guys… 

**Starkbucks:** Bitch go ahead 

**Starkbucks:** I’m only speaking the truth 

**Y’all:** i’m-

**Patdre:** Guys please 

**Patdre:** Can you talk about this later? 

**Patdre:** I just don’t really,,, feel comfortable discussing this 

**Y’all:** oh fuck Pat 

**Y’all:** yes of course we will stop I’m so sorry I totally forgot 

**Patdre:** it’s okay Roman 

**Patdre:** no harm no foul

**Y’all:** are you sure? 

**Patdre:** Positive kiddo

**Y’all:** <3

**Patdre:** I love you too, Ro

**Patdre:** Remy, kiddo, did you want to tell us why you started a chat with just the three of us? 

**Starkbucks:** what does the name not make it obvious enough?  

**Y’all:** no

**Starkbucks:** ugh I cannot believe I have to explain everything to you two 

**Starkbucks:** this is, clearly, a chat for those of us too cool to follow the cis gender binary 

**Starkbucks:** so we can talk about all the cool stuff that comes along with being trans and gender non-conforming 

**Starkbucks:** and like rant about the bad stuff too or whatever

**Y’all:** … why does it say “Gemder Binary” 

**Starkbucks:** uh

**Starkbucks:** typo 

**Patdre:** You sure about that kiddo? 

**Patdre:** Because it looks like a bit of a pun to me 

**Starkbucks:** Nope it’s just a typo 

**Y’all:** wait 

**Y’all:** is that a reference to Steven Universe? 

**Starkbucks:** no 

**Patdre:** OH MY GOD IT IS 

**Patdre:** Is it because Emile loves Steven Universe??? 

**Starkbucks:** gurl how the fuck do you know so much about my boyfriend? 

**Patdre:** I’m Virgil’s best friend! 

**Patdre:** We gossip.

**Starkbucks:** “you gossip”

**Starkbucks:** i never thought i would see the day fucking virgil gossiped

**Y’all:** maybe he only gossips about you

**Starkbucks:** bitch would

**Patdre:** V and I talk about basically everything 

**Patdre:** We’re  _ best _ friends. That’s what we do

**Y’all:** wow must be great to have friends 

**Y’all:** wait 

**Starkbucks:** Gurl 

**Patdre:** _concerned dad noises_

**Y’all:** that was a jOKe 

**Starkbucks:** okay so here’s the thing

**Starkbucks:** Virgil is kind of like my twin brother so I’m real good at knowing stuff like that definitely is not a joke

**Starkbucks:** but go off I guess

**Patdre:** _ more concerned dad noises _

**Y’all:** I’m not Virgil so there’s that 

**Y’all:** Also shouldn't you be focused on your fight with your boyfriend and not my problems if I might have them

**Starkbucks:** Deflection, that’s good 

**Starkbucks:** but for the last time Emile and I are not fighting, okay? 

**Starkbucks:** He’s just fucking mad at me and I don’t know why

**Patdre:** aw kiddo 

**Patdre:** Do you want to talk about it?

**Y’all:** Yes, perhaps we can help you sort things out? 

**Starkbucks:** … 

**Starkbucks:** ugh I can’t believe I’m going to spill my problems to strangers 

**Y’all:** we’re your brother’s roommates so it’s not like you’re going to get rid of us

**Y’all:** might as well get used to us

**Patdre:** !!! You’re part of the famILY 

**Starkbucks:** okay don’t go getting sappy on me 

**Starkbucks:** god I’ll tell you about Emile okay just don’t tell Virgil or he’ll actually kill me 

**Patdre:** why’s that kiddo?

**Starkbucks:** because i like, haven’t exactly told him what’s going on? 

**Starkbucks:** It would make him worry and shit and like he’s already stressed more than normal because of college, like the last thing he needs is this on top of everything 

**Y’all:** … Don’t you think he’d be more worried not knowing what’s going on? 

**Starkbucks:** if it was like any other situation than maybe, but trust me I say he’s better off in the dark this time around

**Patdre:** …I don’t know if that’s the case kiddo. I mean, Virgil is concerned about you. 

**Y’all:** He really does want to help you out, Remy. Perhaps you should let him. 

**Starkbucks:** no.

**Starkbucks:** because i guess, the way this thing with Emile started is he said something that just… triggered a bunch of fucking bad memories and if I told Virgil about it he would have to be dealing with the same shit I am and like it was bad enough doing it once 

**Starkbucks:** I would rather spare him any more suffering thank you very much

**Patdre:** Remy if it’s something that serious I think Virgil oughta know what’s going on 

**Starkbucks:** Okay I know you’re just trying to look out for V but so am I 

**Starkbucks:** if he can stay out of this then like mentally it’s for his best 

**Y’all:** so what exactly happened, Remy, because I don’t know if I fully understand…

**Y’all:** you’re upset with Emile because he said something that triggered bad memories?? 

**Starkbucks:** no you’ve got it like completely wrong, okay? Emile is the one that’s mad at me 

**Y’all:** I’m confused 

**Patdre:** Hi confused, I’m Patton

**Starkbucks:** uggggh do you not pay attention? 

**Starkbucks:** Emile is mad at me, and I don’t know why at all because he just like,,, stopped fucking texting me like two days ago which he never does

**Starkbucks:** even when I don’t respond, that boy is always blowing up my phone with like all kinds of random photos and just, all the craziest shit in the world.

**Starkbucks:** It’s the greatest thing ever. 

**Patdre:** aww 

**Patdre:** that’s so cute

**Starkbucks:** fucking right?

**Starkbucks:** Emile is generally just the cutest boyfriend in the world and all of you should be jealous because you will never find someone as amazing as he is 

**Y’all:** … 

**Starkbucks:** just saying 

**Y’all:** and you say that name isn’t a reference to his favorite tv show 

**Starkbucks:** it isn’t

**Y’all:** I can’t even begin to understand how you’re related to hot topic with how sappy you are

**Starkbucks:** Virgil is the biggest fucking softie what are you talking about 

**Starkbucks:** like he may not show his affection in the conventional means but like when you understand how he does like 

**Starkbucks:** gurl he is the fucking,,, sappiest person ever 

**Patdre:** Aww 

**Y’all:** sounds like fake news to me 

**Starkbucks:** I know you did not just bring up that fuckhead dipshit up in my chat, no ma’am

**Starkbucks:** I would like to keep this a bitchface free zone thank you very much 

**Y’all:** so like I should just go then? 

**Patdre:** _deep inhale_

**Patdre:** ROMAN PRINCE 

**Y’all:** it’s a joke Pat

**Patdre:** _yeets love at Roman_

**Y’all:** i’m  _ fine _

**Patdre:** _ more aggressively yeets love at Roman _

**Starkbucks:** god virgil was not kidding when he said the three of you were a lot 

**Starkbucks:** like I thought I was extra but clearly not 

**Patdre:** aww kiddo, you can be extra with us if you want! 

**Y’all:** … 

**Y’all:** Shouldn’t we get back to focusing on Remy’s issue with their boyfriend?

**Starkbucks:** ooh and the deflection queen strikes again

**Y’all:** fuck off 

**Starkbucks:** I’m just saying boo, you seem to use me as an excuse to escape a lot of your own problems 

**Patdre:** Now kiddos, lets not fight, we’re all friends here.

**Patdre:** Remy, do you want to finish telling us what’s going on with you and Emile? 

**Starkbucks:** I mean what I told you is literally basically it

**Starkbucks:** Emile just hasn’t texted me in two days which is abnormal, right? That boy never stops sending me stuff usually 

**Starkbucks:** and like the only thing I can think that would make him do that is if he was mad at me and the only reason he would have to be mad at me is because… 

**Starkbucks:** okay so maybe I have been a little less than enthusiastic in my replies lately and like declined calling him four nights ago but like,

**Starkbucks:** that was like right after when he said the thing that brought up super bad personal memories so like can you even blame me? 

**Patdre:** Remy, have you told Emile he said something that triggered bad memories? 

**Y’all:** yeah or even tried to talk to him about this at all?

**Starkbucks:** No, I haven’t, because like… tbh this is something I don’t really like… want to talk about, you know? 

**Starkbucks:** for one thing it doesn’t just involve me and like I would never tell Virgil’s like part of it without asking him and like again, I would rather not make him have to think about that again 

**Starkbucks:** there are just things you would rather leave behind you, you know what I mean? And like this is one of them 

**Y’all:** … I understand that 

**Patdre:** Yeah but if he said something that hurt you, shouldn’t you let Emile know so he doesn’t do it again? 

**Y’all:** Pat… it’s not that simple 

**Y’all:** sometimes there are things that happen that are so awful… 

**Y’all:** that you would rather deal with occassionally being reminded of it when someone says something than ever have to… tell someone else what happened and in turn pass on your own pain to them

**Starkbucks:** Bad shit fucking happens. 

**Starkbucks:** But like if you can protect those you care about from having to be aware of that bad shit, and like shield them from that harsh reality of life 

**Y’all:** You’d do it in a heartbeat 

**Starkbucks:** exactly

**Patdre:** I still think you need to talk to him 

**Patdre:** even if you don’t tell him the details, Emile deserves to know something happened 

**Patdre:** I mean, did you ever stop to think that maybe he thinks you’re mad at him? And that’s why he stopped texting you?

**Starkbucks:** … 

**Starkbucks:** okay so that might be the case 

**Starkbucks:** ugggh fine okay I’ll fucking talk to him

**Starkbucks:** but just to make sure he knows i’m not mad at him 

**Patdre:** Good luck! 

**Y’all:** If that doesn’t fix things, you could always just tell him how you named a chat with him in mind 

**Starkbucks:** it was a typo 

**Starkbucks:** that’s it 

**Patdre:** suuuure it was 

**Y’all:** There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of romance, Remy. In fact it’s quite sweet 

**Starkbucks:** Okay well first off i’m not sweet so do not even come for reputation 

**Y’all:** God you really are Virgil’s twin 

**Starkbucks:** the Storm siblings don’t do “sweet”

**Patdre:** well I for one think you’re all just the sweetest, nicest, bestest people ever 

**Y’all:** aww, Patton!!! 

**Patdre:** I love you Roman!!! 

**Y’all:** <3 <3 <3 <3

**Starkbucks:** you two disgust me, okay i’m leaving like fucking bye 

**Starkbucks has left the chat**

**Y’all:** ahhh, just like Virgil 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anything I write make sense anymore?   
> I ask because most of this plot came out of nowhere so y'all have a much of an idea where things are going as I do. 
> 
> Also!! Important question, but if I did another chapter of 20 questions is there anything in particular y'all would want to see the boys ask/discuss?


	9. Virgil Has A Thing For Cryptids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman did make a promise to ask Virgil about mothman...

**Y’all:** Virgil

 **Y’all:** oh my god V I R G I L

 **Y’all:** I have a very serious question you have to answer it

 **my-dark-strange-son:** uh have you ever heard of this thing called manners?

 **my-dark-strange-son:** you know where you start a conversation with hello and also not demanding someone answer something

 **Y’all:** Since when have we ever started a conversation with “hello”

 **Y’all:** I thought you hated small talk

 **my-dark-strange-son:** yeah because its pointless and also i have a n x i e t y

 **Y’all:** so you don’t want me to start conversations with hello?

 **my-dark-strange-son:** fucking god no

 **Y’all:** I’m confused

 **my-dark-strange-son:** just…

 **my-dark-strange-son:** didn’t you want to ask me like a question or something?

 **Y’all:** RIGHT

 **Y’all:** Okay so Patton and I were talking to Remy

 **my-dark-strange-son:** why the fuck were you talking to my brother

 **my-dark-strange-son:** how the fuck do you even _know_ my brother

 **Y’all:** you know

 **Y’all:** I don’t actually know where they got our numbers from now that you bring it up

 **Y’all:** but like they added me and Pat to a chat I guess to talk about gender shit

 **Y’all:** which is adorably called “Fuck the Gemder Binary” because Emile loves Steven Universe

 **my-dark-strange-son:** wow my brother is such a fucking dork would you believe

 **Y’all:** Just like you

 **my-dark-strange-son:** … bitch

 **Y’all:** You need to learn some more creative nicknames, Jack Smellington

 **my-dark-strange-son:** nah im good thanks

 **Y’all:** …

 **Y’all:** SO Pat and I were talking to Remy, and how you were venting about them and their problem with Emile

 **my-dark-strange-son:** which they still wont talk to me about by the way

 **Y’all:** sorry V

 **my-dark-strange-son:** i just want to make sure theyre okay because clearly this is upsetting them

 **my-dark-strange-son:** like i just want to be a good brother is that so much to ask

 **Y’all:** you are a good brother, Virgil.

 **my-dark-strange-son:** yeah whatever

 **my-dark-strange-son:** just finish your story Princey

 **Y’all:** …

 **Y’all:** so our personal chat got brought up

 **Y’all:** Pat is v concerned by the name, by the way

 **my-dark-strange-son:** well thats to be expected when its called the pit of despair

 **my-dark-strange-son:** im surprised xe didn’t realize it was a princess bride reference

 **Y’all:** There was a lot going on, to be fair

 **Y’all:** because Remy proceeded to ask if this was the same chat where we, and I quote, “discuss fucking mothman at 3 in the morning”

 **my-dark-strange-son:** when your own twin kinkshames you

 **Y’all:** wait

 **Y’all:** Virgil please tell me that you are joking

 **Y’all:** because that’s the exact question I came here to ask

 **my-dark-strange-son:** you mean would i fuck mothman

 **Y’all:** Or just cryptids in general is what the question came down to but yes

 **my-dark-strange-son:** if the opportunity presented itself then sure

 **Y’all:** n o

 **my-dark-strange-son:** look if mothman was in front of me and asked me if i wanted to

 **Y’all:** viRGiL NO

 **my-dark-strange-son:** i wouldnt be against it is all im saying

 **Y’all:** oh mY GOD

**Y’all has changed their name to I’M-SCREAMING**

**I’M-SCREAMING has added Starkbucks to the chat**

**I’M-SCREAMING:** R E M Y

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE ACTUALLY RIGHT ABOUT VIRGIL

 **Starkbucks:** right about what exactly?

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** HE WANTS TO FUCK MOTHMAN

 **my-dark-strange-son:** its more i wouldnt not do it

 **Starkbucks:** bitch I fucking told you

 **my-dark-strange-son:** also like its not just mothman

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** …

 **my-dark-strange-son:** aliens, ghosts, spirits

 **my-dark-strange-son:** it’s all fair game

 **my-dark-strange-son:** so long as they agree

**I’M-SCREAMING has changed my-dark-strange-son’s name to Supernatural-Slut**

**Starkbucks:** wow fucking drag him

 **Supernatural-Slut:** you know… im not offended

 **Supernatural-Slut:** youre not technically wrong

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** oh my god

 **Supernatural-Slut:** no use trying to deny facts

 **Starkbucks:** v what would mom and dad think

 **Supernatural-Slut:** rem i dissappointed them a long ass time ago

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** oh big mood

 **Starkbucks:** they deserved it

 **Supernatural-Slut:** they did start it

 **Supernatural-Slut:** also… is your name Starkbucks?

 **Supernatural-Slut:** as in… Stark

 **Supernatural-Slut:** like, Tony Stark?

 **Starkbucks:** no

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** it IS

 **Supernatural-Slut:** god you are such a nerd

 **Starkbucks:** it was a fucking typo, okay, nothing else, so get that idea out of your head right now

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** first gemder now this

 **Starkbucks:** also a typo

 **Supernatural-Slut:** whatever you say

 **Supernatural-Slut:** … nerd

 **Starkbucks:** emo

 **Supernatural-Slut:** asshole

 **Starkbucks:** bitch

 **Supernatural-Slut:** get out of my chat

 **Starkbucks:** make me

**Supernatural-Slut had kicked Starkbucks from the chat**

**I’M-SCREAMING:** what just happened

 **Supernatural-Slut:** storm sibling interaction

 **Supernatural-Slut:** fairly standard protocal

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** that’s what having siblings is like?

 **Supernatural-Slut:** pretty much, yeah

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** Suddenly I feel less bad about being an only child

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** one less person to hate me

 **Supernatural-Slut:** dude

 **I’M-SCREAMING:** gotta blast

**I’M-SCREAMING has left the chat**

**Supernatural-Slut:** why are you like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: inspiration for this chapter came from a Ryan Haywood stream where he said his wife called him a "Supernatural-Slut", albeit in a different context, but still


	10. Logan's M e m e i n g

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flustered-Nerd: slides into your dms
> 
> Flustered-Nerd: Salutations. Welcome to Chili’s.

**Flustered-Nerd:** _ slides into your dms  _

**Flustered-Nerd:** Salutations. Welcome to Chili’s. 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** ...Logan? 

**Flustered-Nerd:** That is my name, yes. 

**Patdre:** Lolo!! You’re back!!

**Flustered-Nerd:** Very observant of you Patton. I am indeed “back” as you say. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Although it is another question entirely on how gone I actually was considering I was still receiving your messages the entire time. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** I am indeed back in the sense I am once again able to respond.

**Supernatural-Slut:** hey- what the heck was that? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** disappearing on us? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** don’t you dare try that stunt again. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** I was not technically gone. As I already said, I was simply busy and didn’t have time to respond. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** I was still in the chat. I’m not Roman, I wouldn’t just leave. 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** _ offended princey noises  _

**Supernatural-Slut:** okay. well- 

**Supernatural-Slut:** warn a dude next time. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Ah, I apologize Virgil. I did not mean to make you worry. 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Speaking of Logan being gone though, dude Where  _ have  _ you been? 

**Patdre:** Bed empty. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** no note

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Car gone!

**Patdre:** You could have died! 

**Supernatural-Slut:** you could have been seen

**Flustered-Nerd:** Guess I’ll  die be seen

**I’M-SCREAMING:** adjksjdlfjk

**Supernatural-Slut:** Logan what the fuck 

**Patdre:** I’m very confused about what is happening 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Logan’s m e m e i n g

**Supernatural-Slut:** its horrifying

**Flustered-Nerd:** DWI 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Driving while intoxicated.

**Flustered-Nerd:** No...? Deal With It.

**Patdre:** I’m still confused 

**Patdre:** What’s so bad about Logan having fun with a few memes? 

**Patdre:** The rest of you kiddos do it, so why shouldn’t Logan be able to? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** because it’s l o g a n 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** There’s only one thing worse than a meme 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** _ pulls off paper to reveal Logan’s name written underneath _

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Boom

**Supernatural-Slut:** Logan 

**Patdre:** No

**Flustered-Nerd:** … 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Virgil, why is your name “Supernatural Slut”? 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Did I miss something while I was gone? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** its just a joke dont worry about it 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Virgil’s a lamp 

**Supernatural-Slut:** shut the fuck up 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** or he wishes he was anyways 

**Flustered-Nerd:** A lamp? 

**Patdre:** ~~ like us  ~~

**I’M-SCREAMING:** It’s a meme, calculator watch 

**Flustered-Nerd:** … Virgil wants to be a meme? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** i mean… yes

**I’M-SCREAMING:** He’s already a meme 

**Supernatural-Slut:** also not wrong 

**Flustered-Nerd:**  I’ll admit I’m slightly confused 

**Patdre:** Hi confused, I’m dad

**Flustered-Nerd:** … 

**Flustered-Nerd:** What does Virgil’s nickname have to do with both memes and lamps? 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** think about it you nerd, I know you can figure it out 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** what’s something that is currently a meme, attracted to lamps, and is also supernatural? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** okay mothman isnt a meme hes a cryptid 

**Supernatural-Slut:** get it fucking straight

**I’M-SCREAMING:** but i’m not straight 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** i’m bisexual

**Flustered-Nerd:** I thought you were American

**I’M-SCREAMING:** ajdhskflkfg

**Flustered-Nerd:** I still have no idea what Virgil’s username means. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** how… do you know so many memes and yet you are still so clueless? 

**Flustered-Nerd:** It is “bold of you to assume” I truly know any memes

**Supernatural-Slut:** oh my god 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** what is even happening anymore

**I’M-SCREAMING:** What are… What are the rest of y’all up to that isn’t Logan memeing?

**Patdre:** I have like twelve cats climbing all over me right now which is fun 

**Supernatural-Slut:** p a t t o n n o

**Flustered-Nerd:** I thought you were allergic to cats? 

**Patdre:** The person who usually works in the cat room called in sick today so I offered to cover her shift

**I’M-SCREAMING:** P a t t o n w h y

**Patdre:** I like cats

**Supernatural-Slut:** _ patton  _

**Patdre:** Virgil! 

**Supernatural-Slut:** i swear to fucking god 

* * *

**Supernatural-Slut:** hey idiot

**Starkbucks:** Ooh sup V? 

**Starkbucks:** I thought you weren’t talking to me because I ate the rest of your cereal this morning

**Starkbucks:** and then totally accidentally woke you up screaming because I won the concert tickets Emile was like dying for 

**Supernatural-Slut:** im not 

**Starkbucks:** Mhm kay but see you are because you messaged me first 

**Starkbucks:** and then you replied to me, which means you just did talk to me 

**Supernatural-Slut:** pat has been playing with the cats at the shelter which means hes going to be miserable so i have to go take care of him 

**Supernatural-Slut:** im taking the car. ill let you know when i get there 

**Starkbucks:** So like I know you’re mad at me, but do you want me to drive you? 

**Starkbucks:** I know you hate driving when it’s raining and it’s storming pretty bad right now. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** its fine i dont want to bother you 

**Starkbucks:** It’s not a bother V, it’s what brothers do

**Supernatural-Slut:** ...

**Starkbucks:** I’ll be down in like, three minutes. 

**Starkbucks:** Make sure you got your wallet with you because you’re totally paying for my Starbucks before we go 

**Starkbucks:** I cannot do this drive without my coffee, no ma’am

**Supernatural-Slut:** thanks rem

**Starkbucks:** love ya too, boo

**Supernatural-Slut:** i fucking hate you.

* * *

**Flustered-Nerd:** I do not understand why, Patton, you would choose to surround yourself with cats if you know that it is only going to cause you to suffer.

**Patdre:** Somethings are worth suffering for. 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Was that… a Frozen reference? 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Because if so I approve immensely 

**Patdre:** It was!! I was hoping someone would notice 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** Of course I noticed, Frozen is one of my favorite movies 

**Patdre:** Hey Ro,

**Patdre:** Do you want to build a snowman? 

**I’M-SCREAMING:** !!!

**Supernatural-Slut:** dont you dare sir sing a lot

**I’M-SCREAMING:** … 

**I’M-SCREAMING has changed their name to Sir-Sing-A-Lot**

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Ha, I like that nickname, and I’m going to use it now.

**Supernatural-Slut:** i hate you 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** ~~big same~~

**Patdre:** Roman… 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** … 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** So I had the day off today. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Uh yeah I sure hope you did. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** road work ahead 

**Supernatural-Slut:** nice

**Sir-Sing-A-Long:** What does that even mean?

**Flustered-Nerd:** It is Wednesday, my dudes 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Is it not?

**Sir-Sing-A-Long:** Okay first off you saying dude is weird as fuck 

**Sir-Sing-A-Long:** But yeah it is. 

**Sir-Sing-A-Long:** What’s your point? 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Did you not tell us when we first met that Wednesday is your day off? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** how the fuck do you remember shit like this 

**Flustered-Nerd:** I keep a list of the important things people tell me. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Naturally. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** oh my god 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I can’t decide if that’s creepy or sweet 

**Supernatural-Slut:** creepy 

**Patdre:** Well I think it’s absoultely adorable, Logan! 

**Patdre:** It shows just how much you really care about us!

**Flustered-Nerd:** Ah, well… thank you Patton. 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** _ g a y  _

**Flustered-Nerd:** Yes Roman, all of us here are gay, what is your point? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** he got you there 

**Flustered-Nerd:** #roasted

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** i… 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** do not know how to respond to that

**Patdre:** Why don’t you tell us what you’ve been doing with your day off, kiddo. 

**Patdre:** Relaxing? Catching up on some tv shows? Working on a special project? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Actually, I’ve been cooking. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** lame 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I’ve been trying to recreate some of my nana’s recipes from memory. 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I’ve almost got her soup perfect except I think I need just a little more salt 

**Patdre:** Well I’m sure you’ll get it next time kiddo

**Flustered-Nerd:** _ yeets Virgil at Roman  _

**Supernatural-Slut:** why 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Is this a sufficient amount of salt, Roman?

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Oh my GoD 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I think it might be too much actually 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Virgil is  _ very  _ salty 

**Supernatural-Slut:** rude

**Flustered-Nerd:** But accurate 

**Supernatural-Slut:** paaaat

**Supernatural-Slut:** logan and roman are bullying me 

**Patdre:** aww Virgil

**Flustered-Nerd:** This is so sad. 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Bless your heart, 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** alexa, play despacito 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Alexa, play despacito 

**Supernatural-Slut:** i hate both of you 

**Supernatural-Slut has left the chat**

* * *

**Patdre:** aghgfkjsdj

**Patdre:** g u y s 

**Patdre:** You’ll never guess who just showed up outside my work? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** ??? 

**Supernatural-Slut has joined the chat**

**Supernatural-Slut:** it’s me, ya boi

**Flustered-Nerd:** Virgil? 

**Patdre:** Virgil!!! 

**Flustered-Nerd:** What on earth are you doing outside of Patton’s work at 4pm on a Wednesday? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** well somebody has to take care of him considering he’s been in the fucking cat room all day and he’s a l l e r g i c 

**Patdre:** Aw kiddo, I’ve told you before I can take care of myself. You didn’t have to drive all this way. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** yes i did 

**Supernatural-Slut:** now tell remy your fucking address so we can take you home and i can care the everloving shit out of you 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** uhm… 

**Patdre:** !!! love you too kiddo 

**Supernatural-Slut:** yeah whatever

**Supernatural-Slut:** dont read too much into this okay i still hate all of you 

**Patdre:** Suuuure 

**Supernatural-Slut:** im only nice because were roommates 

**Flustered-Nerd:** And they were roommates 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** _ Oh my god they were roommates  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's,,,, a thing   
> Uhm   
> I apologize for nothing 
> 
> (Also, if anyone has any more memes they think meme queen Logan might enjoy, please share them with me because I would love to do more chapters with Logan memeing)


	11. What's A Vine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sir-Sing-A-Lot: Lo that’s gay   
> Flustered-Nerd: Thank you for noticing that Roman, yes I am indeed gay   
> Supernatural-Slut: fucking got ‘em   
> Flustered-Nerd: What did I get?

**Patdre:** Guys!! It’s been two whole months since we started texting 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Aww!!! Happy 2 months

**Flustered-Nerd:** I’m 27

**Supernatural-Slut:** wow you’re old 

**Patdre:** Wait, you’re 27?? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** pat no 

**Flustered-Nerd:** It is a vine reference, Patton

**Patdre:** what’s a vine? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** i 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** you cannot be serious  

**Supernatural-Slut:** _ you had a vine account pat  _

**Supernatural-Slut:** _ ive seen your videos _

**Patdre:** You have? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Patton had a vine account?! 

**Supernatural-Slut:** im pretty sure all of us had a vine account 

**Supernatural-Slut:** romans is full of him singing 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** _ how the fuck did you find that  _

**Supernatural-Slut:** are you kidding i know of all of your social media accounts 

**Supernatural-Slut:** logan was actually pretty funny on vine like the dude has a sense of humor 

**Supernatural-Slut:** even though he has a fucking  _ Studyblr  _

**Supernatural-Slut:** _ like a n e r d  _

**Flustered-Nerd:** You are just jealous it is more aesthetically pleasing than your blog ever could be 

**Supernatural-Slut:** yeah because my blog is trash like tumblr is meant for 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** So it reflects your personality then? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** yes 

**Patdre:** Virgil!!! 

**Patdre:** You are  _ NOT  _ trash 

**Supernatural-Slut:** debatable 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I cannot believe you’ve stalked us online 

**Supernatural-Slut:** have to make sure you’re not actually a murderer

**Supernatural-Slut:** good news none of you are 

**Flustered-Nerd:** bold of you to assume I don’t know how to dispose of a body without leaving a trace 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** uh rude as a trans person I claim the exclusive right to have killed my past self 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** anything that happened before this summer wasn’t me, and the person who it was no longer exists 

**Patdre:** Roman that’s valid as fuck

**Supernatural-Slut:** are you saying that because some of your vines were hella embarrassing and also straight 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** … 

**Supernatural-Slut:** because they definitely were

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** yeah im aware of that thank you very much 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** in more ways then you could ever understand

**Supernatural-Slut:** what the fuck is that supposed to mean 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** nothing 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** can we just talk about something else? 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Did you know scientist now believe the earth used to be purple 3.5 billion years ago? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** … pardon? 

**Patdre:** Patton! 

**Supernatural-Slut:** the fuck logan? 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Roman asked to change the subject, so I changed the subject 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** okay but you can’t just say that and not explain yourself 

**Patdre:** Yeah, tell us more about the purple earth!! 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Okay, so replace everything that is green on earth with purple. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Because basically the earth used to live off something different besides chlorophyll called retinal, which evolved along with it but for a while, it was dominating. Then oxygenation happened, and chlorophyll took over and we became green. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Which means that other retinal based planets could be a good place to look for life, as that’s how we started. 

**Patdre:** That’s a really neat fact Lo!

**Flustered-Nerd:** well, as they say 

**Flustered-Nerd:** The more you know 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Lo that’s gay 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Thank you for noticing that Roman, yes I am indeed gay 

**Supernatural-Slut:** fucking got ‘em 

**Flustered-Nerd:** What did I get? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** Roman 

**Patdre:** Logan got Roman? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** uh excuse me? I’m not a thing you can just acquire at whim 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** i am a prince

**Supernatural-Slut:** no like he roasted him 

**Patdre:** Logan tried to cook Roman?!?! 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I’d like to see him try

**Flustered-Nerd:** I… cannot cook, Virgil 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** wait you can’t cook? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** And I thought you were an adult 

**Flustered-Nerd:** I have no idea where you got that impression but it is incorrect 

**Supernatural-Slut:** not that kind of roast 

**Supernatural-Slut:** it’s like… lo dragged prince idiot over here 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** like physically…?

**Patdre:** that doesn’t very nice 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Indeed. And although it is something I am most certainly capable of as I am deceptively strong, I do not see any reason why I would 

**Supernatural-Slut:** you know what fucking forget it 

**Supernatural-Slut:** you guys are hopeless 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** *y’all 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** also for the record I know exactly what you’re talking about 

**Supernatural-Slut:** you… 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** it was amusing watching you try to explain it to the parents 

**Patdre:** The parents? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** yeah patdre and dad 

**Supernatural-Slut:** dad? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Logan is my daddy so what 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** *dad, I meant dad 

**Supernatural-Slut:** well which one is it because if it’s both that’s hella disturbing 

**Patdre:** But aren’t they the same thing? 

**Supernatural-Slut:** pat n o 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Roman 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** yes daddy

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** *daddy

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** *d a d 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** fucking fuck autocorrect 

**Supernatural-Slut:** this is why mom doesn’t fucking love you

**Flustered-Nerd:** Does that make me mom in this scenario?

**Supernatural-Slut:** yes

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I see. 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** in that case perhaps I should just

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot has left the chat**

**Supernatural-Slut:** seriously?? 

**Patdre:** Virgil, Logan, I am very disappointed in you. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** it was a fucking joke 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Indeed. I did not intend for Roman to take it so personally. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** well he shouldn’t have because it was a j o k e 

**Patdre:** You need to apologize to him 

**Flustered-Nerd:** ah, of course, I suppose that would be appropriate given the situation. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** no 

**Patdre:** Virgil. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** im not going to apologize because princey is too sensitive to take a joke 

**Supernatural-Slut:** he’ll get over it by tomorrow and realize he was being stupid and come back 

**Supernatural-Slut:** thats how it works 

**Patdre:** i have never been so disappointed in you Virgil 

**Patdre has left the chat**

**Supernatural-Slut:** well great 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Perhaps Patton is right, Virgil. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** wait youre taking romans side now

**Flustered-Nerd:** No. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** I believe you meant no harm with your joke and indeed I cannot understand why Roman reacted so poorly or why Patton was so upset also this time

**Flustered-Nerd:** But regardless it is clear something is different this time, and emotions have never been my forte so I may not be able to say what, but as it seems to be Patton’s area of expertise I’m inclined to bow to his suggestions on steps to take moving forward. 

**Flustered-Nerd:** Furthermore in situations like this we must consider intent versus impact 

**Flustered-Nerd:** And while you’re intentions were only to joke, if your impact was something more then it is the impact that must be respected and intentions disregarded. 

**Supernatural-Slut:** … 

**Supernatural-Slut:** you really are the smart one of us arent you lo

…. 

**Patdre:** Roman… 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** ‘m fine pat 

**Patdre:** no you’re not

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** its okay

**Patdre:** Roman please 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I’ll get over it don’t worry about me 

**Patdre:** … 

**Patdre:** @Starkbucks Can I get a little back up here?

**Starkbucks:** hmm what’s up? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** it’s nothing 

**Patdre:** Virgil made a joke that upset Ro and he left the chat 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** it wasn’t just the joke 

**Starkbucks:** Oh? 

**Starkbucks:** Roman honey I wasn’t there, I need you to elaborate some more please

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** it’s nothing I was just overreacting 

**Patdre:** If you’re upset then you’re not overreacting 

**Starkbucks:** Pat speaks the facts 

**Patdre:** Just tell us what’s going on Ro. We’re not going to judge you. 

**Starkbucks:** this is a totally safe and judge free chat, that’s kind of what it’s here for

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** … 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** Virgil said he found my old vine account 

**Starkbucks:** oh honey 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** it’s not like he doesn’t know I’m trans and it’s not like I’ve even really transitioned or anything I still look and sound mostly the same as I did in those vines 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** it shouldn’t bother me that he’s seen that because when we meet 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I still basically am that person 

**Starkbucks:** No you’re not 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** i-

**Starkbucks:** Look Roman, I know we haven’t been talking all that long, but we have talked enough that I know the person in those vines isn’t you

**Starkbucks:** You said so yourself didn’t you, that you spent years of high school putting on an act to please your family?

**Starkbucks:** If that’s the case, then the person in those vines is only an act

**Patdre:** and not wanting anyone now to see that act is totally valid 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** they use my deadname a lot in those vines 

**Starkbucks:** oh hun

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I never wanted any of y’all to know that name. that past 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I wanted to leave it behind 

**Patdre:** You have. 

**Patdre:** You’re our Prince Roman. Who loves Disney and cooking and theater and who creates the most amazing things. And you’re our roommate who brought us together and made a famILY even before classes started. 

**Patdre:** who you were before now doesn’t matter 

**Patdre:** Only who you chose to be from here on out. 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** … 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** thank you Pat

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** and thank you too Remy

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I uhh… 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** just thank you 

**Patdre:** We love you kiddo. 

**Starkbucks:** And I’ll talk too Virgil about why what he did was such a dick a move 

**Starkbucks:** Ever since I came out as gender whatever he’s been trying to be a good brother but like he just doesn’t think sometimes how this shit can affect people 

**Starkbucks:** then again most cis people don’t because they never fucking have to 

**Patdre:** hear hear 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** it must be nice to live in that oblivion 

**Patdre:** I think in some ways it can be nice not living in the oblivion. 

**Starkbucks:** I don’t think people should live in that oblivion. It’s what drives us apart

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** one of the things at least 

**Starkbucks:** yeah, but one that has wide spreading effects

**Patdre:** I guess we’re kind of lucky in a way not to live in that oblivion, aren’t we? 

**Sir-Sing-A-Lot:** I guess… 

**Starkbucks:** We most certainly are

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't have an explanation for this, I'm sorry. 
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr (if you wanna): @Potterhead2468


End file.
